


He is Damaged (But not Beyond Repair)

by Brackenfrond



Series: The Luck of Ronan Spire [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Friendship, an interlude to Ronan's arc, but with Marie narrating, i guess?, sort of angst?, there is gay stuff here be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brackenfrond/pseuds/Brackenfrond
Summary: After the Battle of Manhattan, Marie wasn't sure if she'd bump into any of the Avengers again, especially when Natasha hadn't bothered to even text her.Of course, she got involved with another plot to kill people and take over the world. At least Natasha was pretty.





	He is Damaged (But not Beyond Repair)

Marie bumped into Steve and Natasha again at the mall.

She hadn’t been expecting to see them again - Natasha hadn’t even texted her which hurt a bit, but then again they were both super secret agents or something like that, so probably missions got in the way of relationships. Romantic or otherwise. A damn shame, really.

They probably stared at each other for a while, until Natasha grabbed her arm and pulled her along to the escalators.

“Woah, not like I’m complaining, but what is actually going on here?”

“We’re running.” Natasha said, voice quiet, and now Marie noticed that her eyes were never focused on one point, constantly flickering around the area. “Hydra is in SHIELD.” And ok, what?

“What?”

“Not now.” Steve mumbled, voice quiet, and he did look good in glasses. “We’ll explain later. But they’ll know you because -”

“New York.” Marie nodded sharply. “Got’cha.”

So she allowed herself to be led to the escalators and actually saw the people they were running from. She leaned over to Natasha. “Ok, it is slightly obvious they’re government agents.”

“Shit.” Marie didn’t think she’d heard Natasha curse before, usually so calm and composed. The agent turned around on the escalator, facing Marie and Steve, a step above her. Her eyes locked on Steve. “Kiss me.”

“Wait, what?” Steve’s eyes bugged and, ok, Marie was not even slightly annoyed that the question was directed at him instead of her. Totally not.

Ok maybe a bit.

“Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable.” Natasha’s voice was growing faster. “Kiss me.”

Of course, Marie took Steve’s second of hesitation to kiss Natasha instead and, yes, totally fucking worth it.

Her hands immediately went to Natasha’s waist and Marie pulled her closer. Natasha seemed to almost melt, reciprocating the kiss - nothing flashy, just moving her lips against Marie’s - and flinging her arms around her shoulders.

It was over all too soon, ending with Steve coughing uncomfortably. Natasha pulled back, and Marie reluctantly let her arms fall to her side. Natasha smirked. “Uncomfortable, Rogers?”

Steve muttered something, cheeks turning red. Marie snorted, and she followed Natasha’s easy walk out of the mall, followed by an awkward Captain America.

XoooX

Instead of Steve’s suggestion of hotwiring a car, Marie herded the two agents into her jeep, Steve shotgun, Natasha rummaging through her stuff in the back seats, and stepped on the gas.

“So Hydra - like the group lead by Red Skull in the comics - is actually still around?”

“You read the comics?” Steve asked and Marie rolled her eyes, manicured nails drumming a fast paced beat against the wheel.

“Ronan did. I was more interested in Wonder Woman - no offence meant.” She added, eyes flickering up to the rear view mirror, enough to see that Natasha was looking through her duffel bag. “Having fun?”

“Your car is full of junk.” Natasha replied.

“I think there's a vibrator in the back of...Steve’s seat?” Marie snorted at Steve’s jolt and Natasha’s lunge towards the pocket at the back of the seat, only to pull away, disappointed.

“You’re a horrible human being.”

“I try.” Marie hummed. “My bag isn’t interesting - just a dance kit. Ballet - I teach little kids.” Marie explained at Steve’s curious look. She noted Natasha stiffen slightly at the mention of ballet, but didn't draw attention to it. She was curious, though.

“I didn’t see you as a teaching type.” Steve murmured, making sure Marie took the correct turning on the mostly deserted road they were on. “You seem...ah…”

“Reckless? Impulsive? Brash? Sexual? All are words used to describe me. You know, that aren’t the homophobic, racist, overly sexist ones.” Marie shrugged a shoulder. “I like kids. I like dancing - wanted to be on broadway but, you know, sometimes you take what you can get. The arts aren’t an easy way to get by. But I have fun, I don’t go to classes and want to die after, I look forward to it.”

“You can seriously damage your feet to dance ballet.” Natasha pointed out, but her voice sounded faint, like she was thinking about something else.

“Yeah. I came home with blisters and aching nails, but it was worth it.” Marie retorted. “I love dancing, I love ballet. I love doing something traditionally done by people who are not like me and being better than them. I could dance forever if I wanted to. Even if it hurts.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Besides, the worst damage happens to the professionals. With...what I’m like, I won’t ever get to a stage where I permanently harm myself. I don’t let the kids use pointe shoes. They learn ballet for fun - they don’t need to worry about the damage to their feet. Not yet.”

The car was silent, until Steve broke it.

“I didn’t think ballet would be your thing.” He said.

“Oh, I know more. Tap. Salsa. Ballroom. I’m best at salsa, and Kirsten keeps insulting my tap because I am honestly not the best at it. I know it. I just don’t like it.” She paused, before stopping the car. “We’ll walk the rest of the way. Probably safer.”

“Yeah.” Natasha murmured, apparently eager to get out of the car. Marie glanced in the rearview mirror, and her eyes landed on her pointe shoes, laying side by side next to where Natasha had once sat.

XoooX

Fortunately after the disaster that was a missile being fired at the compound and subsequently nearly killing them, Steve seemed to have a place to lay low. Marie let him drive and curled up in the backseat, watching the outside world flash by and trying to gather her thoughts and her nerve.

Maybe she should have listened to Ronan when he told her to get out of Manhattan. Then she wouldn’t be in this mess. She was worried about Eli and Kirsten, too, because they had no need to be there, and yet...they’d stayed with her. She was worried about Ronan, but only marginally less - last she heard, his scientist friend Jane had bought him a two way ticket to London and that was where he was going. Away from the memories, he’d told Marie, away from...well, you know.

How he had managed to fall head over heels for a pseudo-god who wanted a throne confused Marie greatly, but considering many of her past conquests, she couldn’t really judge. Never again would she sleep with someone who was ‘curious’, only to turn around and say something incredibly homophobic the next day. She didn’t need that kind of drama in her life, considering she was now apparently in danger of being blown up by a government run secret organisation.

“Couldn't you have used your persuasion on the computer?” Natasha asked, and it jolted Marie out of her contemplation. She sighed heavily.

“Wouldn't work. At least, I assume it wouldn't. I’m not that good.”

“You seemed pretty powerful in Manhattan.” Steve stated, frowning at her through the rear view mirror. She pulled a face in return. “I felt like I had to do what you said.”

“You’re a soldier, you are used to following orders. I suppose if I told you to kill someone innocent you wouldn't - not like I would do that - but telling you to move from one place to another? Easy. Some people are easier to persuade than others. I use it to get a ten per cent discount off of Tyler’s ridiculously expensive coffee when he decides that staying awake for forty eight hours editing some footage for his film class is a good idea. I used it to make sure Kirsten actually slept during finals week. I use it to stop Eli from feeling dysphoric on really bad days. To get people out of bad relationships. I haven't used it on anyone like Zola, never mind the fact it was a computer system, not an actual human being.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Might’ve worked, but I don’t rely on it much - it’s taxing, like how hand to hand combat is.”

“You could have gotten that expensive coffee free. But you don’t.” Natasha observed. “Why?”

“Because that is stealing, and I feel bad enough paying less for it.” Marie retorted. “I nearly talked a car dealer into giving me an open roof, bright red car once. It was an accident. A lot of the times I speak I don’t actually realise my power is in use. It sucks. I have to be careful to ask questions a lot of the time, instead of telling someone to do something. That way they have a choice and that choice is important.”

“You want them to have the freedom to say no.” Steve deduced and Marie nodded.

“Yeah, I guess.”

The rest of the drive was quiet and Steve pulled up outside a small, quaint looking house that Marie thought looked vaguely familiar. She couldn't place it.

“Come on.” Steve murmured. “This is it.”

It was Steve who knocked, and a familiar face answered it.

“Kirsten?”

“Marie?” Kirsten's blonde hair was in a loose, messy braid over one shoulder, and she was wearing high waisted jeans and a t-shirt that hung off one shoulder, too big for her. Marie glanced at Steve, who looked surprised to find Kirsten too. Marie’s eyes narrowed. “What are you -"

“Who is It, babe?” That was when the man appeared. Dark skinned, handsome enough, with stubble and black hair cut close to his head. It was the pet name that got her.

“‘Babe’?” She raised an eyebrow at Kirsten, who smiled sheepishly.

“Surprise?”

“Look, as...unexpected as this is.” Steve ignored the look Marie shot him, the amused snort from Natasha, eyes firmly focused on the man. “We...need a place to lie low.”

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.” Natasha added. Kirsten glanced at her...boyfriend? Friend? And he sighed.

“Not everyone.” And he stood aside, Kirsten following suit and Marie followed Steve and Natasha in.

While those two were utilising the shower, Marie was questioning Kirsten.

“I can't believe you didn’t tell me you were...what, dating?” Marie said and Kirsten looked at the ceiling, avoiding her gaze. “I thought we were friends.”

“It’s new.” Kirsten retorted. “We are friends, Marie, but I...you know the last few.” She bit her lip and, oh, Marie remembered the last boyfriend. She had bruised her knuckles breaking the guy's nose when he made Kirsten cry after telling her she wasn’t enough because she refused to ‘put out’, but man had it been worth it. “I don’t want...to jinx this. I really like him, Marie.”

“I...Alright.” Marie sighed. “Where’d you meet him?”

“He helps veterans. You know, after coming back home from wars. You know my brother suffers from PTSD after Afghanistan and I came with him to the first meeting when he was still nervous with the whole...you know.” She sighed slightly. “And he was just kind and gentle and answered every question I flung at him without any preamble or disbelief that I had shown up. He asked if I served.” The smile that spread across Kirsten’s face was one Marie hadn’t seen in years. It was soft and fond and ridiculously happy.

“Shit, you’re gone on him, aren’t you? And I don’t even know his name.”

“Sam.” Kirsten answered, and her gaze moved to the door, watching as Sam headed into the room Natasha and Steve were currently occupying. “His name’s Sam Wilson. And I am pretty sure he’s the one.”

XoooX

“Like hell you’re coming!” Kirsten was having a face off with Steve, the latter having actually used the word ‘hell’. Kirsten was standing on her toes, as she usually did when in an argument with someone. “You aren’t a member of SHIELD!”

“Neither are Sam and Marie and yet -" She swept a hand over to where the two were sat at the kitchen table, Natasha with them and stealing the blueberries off the top of Marie’s abandoned pancakes. The current show going on was much more interesting. Sam glanced at her, and winked.

“It’s something, isn’t it?” He said, and his voice was slightly daydreamy. He was just as gone as Kirsten, and Marie gave her silent approval. She liked this guy.

“I think she could probably deck him.” Marie hissed back, as Kirsten’s eyes narrowed as she snapped something in return to another reason Steve gave for her not coming along with them to get Sitwell.

“Probably.” Sam agreed and Marie would probably have claimed him for herself if she wasn’t exclusively into girls.

“You do realise that Rogers is a genetically engineered super soldier, right?” Natasha asked, popping another blueberry into her mouth.

“You do realise that Kirsten has reduced grown men to tears with a few well used words, right?” Marie countered. Natasha shrugged.

“Fair point.”

A few minutes later, they were piled in a car, Steve grumbling from the passenger seat and Kirsten sat in the back seat, looking way too smug.

“I can’t believe you actually managed to talk him into it.” Sam admitted, and Marie could imagine him pressing a kiss to Kirsten’s cheek in admiration. Kirsten shot him a smile through the rear view mirror.

“I’m good with words, Love. You should know this.” She leaned back slightly in her seat, difficult considering the fact they were in a car. “So, we’re breaking into a heavily secure army base, Right?”

“Yes.” Natasha confirmed. Kirsten grinned, not a pretty one, but an anticipatory, quite terrifying, one.

“Nice.”

XoooX

The whole plan went to hell when the assassin they were after revealed himself as Steve’s best friend, Bucky, but brainwashed into a killing machine.

Now they were captured by Hydra, flung into a back of a truck and Marie was not panicking.

Or she wouldn't be if they hadn’t gagged her.

It was a crude thing, some fabric knotted at the back of her head and shoved in her mouth so she couldn't speak. Her persuasion gift was well known, and they knew that the second she spoke they would be under her spell. The thing was, the gag brought back painful memories from when she was younger, of boys stuffing her mouth with dirt when they found out what she could do, laughing as she spat out clumps of mud and jeering, telling her to ‘tell us what to do now’. Of when she got older, how the first girl she fell in love with was convinced she had used her gift to get a kiss and the girls on the cheerleading squad had ganged up on her, tying a scarf around her mouth and leaving it there, Marie attempting to untie the knot and failing, crying and trying to breathe.

She attempted to take a deep breath, trying to not panic and consequently pass out.

“Hey, look at me.” That was Sam’s voice, calm and soothing. Marie managed to look at him, sure she looked like a skittish animal. “That’s it. Easy, you’re fine. You’re gonna be fine. Just keep breathing.” Marie was briefly reminded Sam helped war veterans who suffered PTSD, who couldn’t sleep or hear fireworks or even walk down the street without being taken back to the country they had fought in. She followed his cue, matched her breaths to his own.

“Natasha needs medical attention.” Kirsten’s voice jolted Marie into action, looking at her blonde friend who was holding a hand against Natasha’s shoulder. Her pale fingers were red and Marie briefly recalled that the assassin had been shot. Shit. The two guards acted as though they hadn’t heard her and Marie could feel Kirsten’s rage boiling. “Didn’t you hear me?! If we don’t get a doctor in here, she’ll bleed out!”

When the guard removed what looked like an electrified stick - some sort of fancy tazer, Marie guessed - Kirsten flinched, only to stare when they attacked the other guard. The helmet was removed and Marie recognised the woman underneath.

She had been there after New York, the one who had tossed clothes in Eli’s direction, completely unfazed by his nudity. Marie had decided at that point that she was generally alright - after all, she had helped them and the lack of shock at Eli being...well, Eli, was an added bonus.

“Get that gag off.” Hill said, and Sam immediately unknotted it, and Marie scrabbled to get the fabric away from her. “Alright?”

“That thing was disgusting.” Marie said. “I’m much better.”

“Good.” Hill nodded, before looking over to Sam, brows furrowing. “Who’s he?”

XoooX

“Back in the truck -"

“If we could avoid talking about my panic attack I would be most grateful.” Marie cut off Natasha hastily, voice probably sharper than it had to be. After hearing that Hydra...SHIELD...whatever were planning on killing major influential people Marie was slightly on edge, as anyone would be, and hoped that it wouldn't mean killing old SHIELD allies. She tried to avoid thinking of Eli, at home with his younger siblings and parents and his older sister and her daughter. Of Ronan, wherever he may be in the world, oblivious to the danger he was in, his thoughts with an absentee god.

“It’s not a weakness.”

“Damn well feels like one.” Marie snorted. “I was a child when that shit happened. It shouldn't hurt me, what little kids did, what those girls did, but it does. Which sucks.”

“All of us have those memories.” Natasha took a seat next to her on the cot Marie had claimed. One night. Just one night before Armageddon, or what surely felt like it. “Things that make us pause. Make us freeze up and panic.”

“As if.” Marie rolled her eyes. “You are pretty much unflappable, you wouldn't think Steve was a figurehead in a world war. And here I am, freaking out because a gag reminded me of choking on dirt when I was six.”

“What happened?”

“I...I told a boy to give me a crayon. He did, even though he wasn't finished with it. He never gave things away like that.” Marie stared at the ceiling, avoiding Natasha’s look. “He figured it out, and...he and some friends cornered me at break. Shoveled dirt in my mouth so I couldn't speak. Couldn't breathe easily. I was crying and managed to spit most of it out. No one did anything. Mutant prejudice plus racism.” She shrugged a shoulder. “The cheerleaders were the worst. Thought I loved one, then her squadmates managed to corner me, tie a scarf around my head, blocking my mouth and left me on the fucking football field, crying.”

“Kids suck.” Natasha leaned slightly against her and Marie laughed, startled to find it real albeit watery.

“I know, right?” She managed, clearing her throat when the words came out choked. “The thing was, I didn’t even use my powers the second time. The girl was so deep in the closet she made it up. And I...I just...I let them believe her. Because I am a stupid little girl who always falls in love with the wrong people. The unobtainable. How fucking sad is that?”

“It isn’t sad, Marie.” Marie blinked at the use of her first name, said so gently. She didn’t think that Natasha had ever used her first name before. “And being affected by it doesn’t make you weak - it makes you human. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Natasha brushed a strand of red hair behind her ear, and Marie frowned slightly.

“Whatever you’ve done...you’re human to, Roma...Natasha.” She stumbled over the name, and didn’t expect the sad smile that Natasha gave her at that comment.

“You don’t know what I’ve done. Even before SHIELD -”

“You’re trying to fix it, to be better. Other’s wouldn’t have bothered even trying.”

“You are too optimistic.”

“Or maybe just enough.” Marie countered. “Someone has to be an optimist amongst all these pessimists. The world hasn’t ended yet.” She shrugged. “Besides, we’ve already saved it once.”

“I can’t believe I am saying this, but I wish Sp - Ronan was here.” Natasha stumbled over his name. “His luck would be useful right about now.”

“Nah. Knowing Ronan, he’d try to adopt the Winter Soldier.” Marie found herself smiling in amusement. “He has a habit of doing that.”

“Bucky.” Natasha said unexpectedly. “His name is Bucky.”

“No It’s not. That man who tried to kill us? That isn’t Steve's friend. I don't think he'll ever be exactly Steve’s friend again.” Marie tried not to focus on Natasha’s eyes boring into the side of her head. “Names...they mark a certain person. Their mannerisms their memories. The Winter Soldier is not Bucky Barnes, and after all this he won’t be Bucky Barnes. He might be James. I don’t know. It's like how you have more than one name.” Natasha startled.

“I -"

“Whatever you have done as Natalia Romanova or Natalie Rushman or whoever doesn’t matter. You changed your name, to start afresh, start anew. Sure, you live with what you’ve done, but you are not that person anymore.” Natasha frowned as though in thought.

“That’s...one way to look at it...how did you know my real name?” Marie grinned slightly, unable not to.

“You think you’re the only person with people? My friend’s a technopath - it wasn’t that difficult to get past SHIELDs defences. You should fix that really.” Marie’s grin grew wider when Natasha snorted in amusement.

“I’ll look into it.” Marie  didn’t startle when Natasha linked her pinkie finger with Marie’s. Not a hand hold, not a kiss, not what Marie wanted to give her, but a sign of affection. “...Thank you.”

“Anytime, Tasha. I mean it.”

XoooX

“Do you think your persuasion can be used if...amplified?” It was Maria asking this question and Marie frowned in thought.

“Like over an intercom? I...don’t know? Maybe?” She moved one hand from side to side, in the universal gesture for ‘sort of’. “Depends on how distorted it is, I guess. And the people listening to it and how easy it is to persuade them in turn...you’re wanting me to persuade Pierce, aren’t you?”

“It seems like the easiest solution.” Steve spoke up. Currently, they were going over the plan before actually implementing it, which was all in all a good idea. Natasha was going to infiltrate the actual building via use of disguise, while Steve attempted to reason with those within SHIELD who were not HYDRA. After, he and Sam would deal with Project Insight and any HYDRA members. Kirsten wasn’t going to be involved unless her expertise with shields was needed, but her primary goal was going to be shielding the helicopter which was perfectly fine in Marie’s one hundred percent honest opinion. Her brother may have been in the armed forces, but Kirsten’s words were her main weapon, be it through speech or by posting online. She had ruined people’s reputations via social media and honestly, she was terrifying. “Less bloodshed.”

“He’s a leader.” Marie pointed out. “A very influential, very powerful leader. I doubt he has had to follow orders for years, if not ever. If we’re lucky we may crack him, but I’m no Ronan. I’m not lucky, Rogers.”

“Your power is ridiculously powerful though.” Natasha’s voice was quiet. “You’ve managed to change entire personalities with a few words.”

“Yeah. Children and people who follow orders for their jobs.” Marie retorted. She ran an anxious hand through her hair. “Look, if there’s a way to...to check that it worked, without going in and just expecting it to work, I’ll try it.”

“That’s all we need.”

Still, the plan ended up as it had originally been planned. Marie's voice worked on the HYDRA grunts, yes, but Pierce was unaffected, as well as one of the more prominent members known as Brock Rumlow. He had apparently tried to kill Sam, only to end up possibly blown up by a helicarrier crashing into the side of headquarters.

The Winter Soldier had saved Steve from death by drowning - actual death this time - and the group had recuperated and gathered together at a graveyard, observing the tombstone that was dedicated to Nick Fury.

Marie was too aware of Kirsten’s hand tucked into the crook of Sam’s arm, that Natasha had blown all her covers and apparently needed a new one, that Steve already knew what he was going to do next.

“You’re going to try and find him, right?” Kirsten was the one who voiced the obvious. Her hand clenched slightly, moving closer to Sam when Steve nodded.

“You don’t -”

“Whatever you need.” Sam spoke up before Steve could do his selfless ‘don’t do it for me’ routine. “Just tell me when.”

“Us.” Kirsten corrected, smiling slightly at Steve’s stunned look. “Honestly, Rogers. I’m helping you with this - I’m already involved.”

“And you?” Sam looked towards Marie and Natasha. The Russian shook her head.

“All my covers are blown - gotta find myself a new one.”

“I have some talking to do, speaking of covers. A certain friend of ours will be overjoyed at trying to rebury some of the details splashed all over the web.” Marie stated and Kirsten hid a laugh.

“Tara is going to hate you.”

“Like she doesn’t already?” Marie said. “You guys keep safe with your whole hunting down a master assassin thing. Mind if I walk you home, Natasha?”

“Not home yet.” She decided, lips quirking upwards. “I think I’d like to speak to this friend of yours, first.”

“Of course.” Marie grinned, before saluting Steve. “Until we meet again, Captain Rogers.”

“Hopefully not too soon.” He said, managing a laugh at Marie’s mock offended gasp.

The two groups parted ways, Marie hooking an arm through Natasha’s and talking about the friend they were going to meet, Kirsten talking to Sam and Steve about how they were going to start looking for Steve’s long lost friend.

Soon the graveyard was quiet once more, all at peace.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Uh...sorry for the wait?
> 
> In my defense, this was super hard to write but The Dark World (also known as When The Stars Align) will be coming soon and now I have Tuesday and Friday off work, which means more time for writing. I still need to catch up on the Marvel films that came out after Civil War (I have seen GotG2 but that’s it) so that will also be taking up my time. I hope to actually watch Infinity War in the cinema’s for my 21st birthday but it’s all about time and access and all that shit.
> 
> Anyways, I’ll catch you all later with our regular Ronan shenanigans soon enough! - Jazz xx


End file.
